Personality Development

ATTITUDE

Attitude is our readiness to act in certain situations and towards certain people. The manner in which we act in the situations and towards the people is based on our interaction with the person and situations as well as our evaluation of the interaction. Based on the evaluation we develop certain beliefs and feelings towards the person and the situation. These feelings and beliefs determined our behavioral pattern. Our attitude, therefore, is made up of beliefs, feelings and behavioral patterns. Attitude is a matter of choice we choose our attitude based on our perceptions of right or wrong. Awareness and independent will help us choose our attitude.

“It is the attitude not the aptitude that determines the altitude of the person in the life”- Jessy Jackson. Our body is like a computer and the brain is hardware, thoughts are software. The computer works as per the programmes that are in the software. In the same manner if our thoughts are under control, we become strong and firm. Our habits and thoughts are the tools and programmes that control our personality. So we should become free from being negative programmed and then the inner good and happiness that resides within us will be revealed.

No matter how many resources we have, no matter how rich we are, we will never achieve our goal until and unless we develop a positive mental attitude. Attitude is the only positive way to guarantee the outcome of our goals to achieve success.

Thomas Jefferson said-“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal, nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

AFFIRMATION: The positive self-suggestions are known as affirmations. These affirmations are very powerful weapons to develop positive attitude. Affirmation repeated several times each day, serve to re-program our subconscious with positive thinking. An affirmation is made up of words charged with power, conviction and faith. Once we send an affirmation and aspire well, the universal power conspires with our sub-conscious mind and inspires our conscious mind to jump into action and make it happen.

WOW: We should watch our words. Nobody can make us feel inferior without our permission. What we speak reflects what we believe about ourselves.

THE POWER OF VISUALIZATION: Visualization helps us either consciously or unconsciously to enhance and focus our skills. That will help us to develop a positive mental attitude.

Attitude is everything that our success or failure depends upon. Successful men act as though they have accomplished or are enjoying something. Soon it becomes a reality. If we act, look, feel successful, conduct ourselves   accordingly we will be amazed at the positive results.

ASSERTIVENESS

Assertiveness is a communication technique, which helps us to effectively convey our message. Non assertive people communicate to satisfy others at the cost of violating their own rights and not conveying the message rightly. They fear  rejection and become overly nice to win-friends. In that process they lose courage.

Assertiveness is not aggressive behavior. People often confuse assertiveness with aggressiveness. People wrongly think that being aggressive is the way to get what they want. Shouting loudly, threatening, pointing fingers at others threatens mutual respect. On the contrary assertive talk is neither aggressive nor passive. It is about telling others know what we want in a confident and direct manner. Few people like confrontation, but it’s important to stand up for yourself and it will become easier the more you do it. The key to assertive communication is staying calm and sounding confident, even when you don’t feel it. Assertiveness increases our self-esteem and we won’t feel like a doormat anymore. Being assertive does not mean being aggressive. Assertive behavior is not hostile, blaring, threatening, demanding or sarcastic. Being assertive means standing up for yourself. Without trespassing on the rights of others. Assertiveness means communicating what you want in a clear manner, respecting your own rights and feelings and rights and feelings of others. Being assertive is an honest and appropriate expression of one’s feelings, opinions and needs. Assertiveness is also often associated with positive self-esteem and a better self image.

The Ten Basic Assertive rights:

1.      We have the right not to justify or explain our behavior to others.

2.      We have the right to tell others how we wish to be treated.

3.      We have the right to say ‘no’ even when we are forced to say ‘yes’.

4.      We have the right to say ‘I don’t understand’ when we have not really understood.

5.      We have the right to take some reasonable time before expressing our opinion.

6.      We have the right to refuse any proposals made by others.

7.      We have the right to change our mind when we feel it is necessary.

8.      We have the right to deny any matter without feeling guilty.

9.      We have the right to take independent decisions in our personal matters.

10.  We have to listen to our own feelings failing which we become our own enemy.

BODY LANGUAGE:

 When asserting ourselves we should look the person in the eye, hold our body up right; consciously relax our shoulders; breathe normally, keep the face relaxed. Speak at a normal conversational volume.   We shouldn’t yell or whisper. 

BODY LANGUAGE

In face to Face communications regarding emotions, the words we speak actually account for less than 10% of the message that we convey, while body language accounts for more than half of our message (our tone of voice communicates the rest). Body language is important and if our words say one thing but our body says another, the person we are speaking to is more likely to believe the message our body is communicating. Body language is also known as non-verbal communication as the communication takes place through body postures, gestures, eye movement, facial expression, movement of hands, shrugging the shoulders, standing or sitting postures etc. Unintentional human gestures such as making an eye-rub, a chin-rest, a Lip touch, a nose-itch, a head scratch, an ear- scratch, crossing arms and a finger-lock have been found Conveying some useful information in a specific context.

      Experts say first impression is the best impression. We should be very careful while making certain gestures like nodding head, showing victory sign as they mean differently in different countries. There is no specific universal sign for any expression.

      During the seminars, group discussions and in interviews, our body language is being observed by the other participants to know our real intension. The body can express our thoughts and ideas to the other person, were communicating without uttering a word. Therefore we should mind our language and body language too. The body language can be altered and improved on practice.

      If we wish to connect to the people while communicating ‘smile’ is the only best technique as the ancient Chinese rightly said, “A man without a smiling face must not open a shop”.

      “Your smile is the messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see you. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, your smile is like sun breaking the clouds especially when that someone is under pressure from his losses, his customers, teachers or parents or children. Your smile can help him realize that inspire of all his hopelessness that there is a joy in the world”----- Dale Carnegie.

     

 

VALUES IN EDUCATION

            The country is not a mere piece of land, with sand and stones; it is an assembly of citizens. The country’s progress depends upon the citizens who have cultivated the moral ethical and spiritual values.

            “Try not to become a man of success Rather become a man of value”- Albert Einstein.

            What is vidya? It is derived from the rout word ‘vid’, meaning ‘to know’. Vidya is termed as education in English. The term education has its origin in the Latin word “Educare’, which means ‘to elicit’. Educare has two aspects, the worldly and the spiritual worldly education brings out the laten knowledge pertaining to the physical world. Spiritual education brings out the inherent     in man. So both worldly and spiritual education is essential without which human help has any value.

             The worldly education is only for securing a living whereas the spiritual education is for living a purposeful life. Only when man is equipped he can be considered as deserving respect and adoration in society. Possession of these two aspects of education will bring not only respect and admiration, but also self satisfaction.

            The National policy on education, government of India has laid considerable emphasis on value education by highlighting the need to make education a forceful tool for cultivation of social and moral values. The core human values are Trust (Sathyam) Right conduct (Dharma) Peace (Santhi) Love (Prema) Non-violence (Ahimsa) and Service (Seva).

            Being faithful means being completely honest in what we say, feel and do with others and also with ourselves became truth in eternal and unchanging. It presents and teachers teach about satisfy and motivate the children and behave like a role model. Children learn that an honest life is happier, simpler and easier.

            Preaching right conduct or right action develops the understanding that in helping others, we became responsible and loving people, capable of working constructively with those around us. ‘‘If you do not know the laws of right conduct, you can’t form your character’’. ---- Swami Sevenanda.

             Peace cultivates the virtues of patience, gentleness, self-control and thoughtfulness peace is a step of being quite, calm and free from emotional disturbance.

            “Nobody can bring you peace but yourself”--- Ralf Waldo Emerson.

We should develop good qualities like Love, Non-violence and Service. We should make Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi like great people as our role models. Students must keep in mind that violence in whatever form – bullying, racism, etc is rooted in prejudice, ignorance and fear. We should convert our negative emotions, such as anger and frustration into positive emotions we have forgiveness and mercy.

GOAL SETTING

            Setting goal is the first step towards achieving it. It helps in formulating the strategies to reach our goal. Visualizing the goal is where we get started and finally end up owning it. During the process the ‘how’ of making it happens and our dreams comes alive.

            If we wish to become an IAS or IPS officer, we don’t need the backing of influential family members. Before we decide our goal it is also important to follow the principle ‘Desire-Deserve’. When we set a goal, we have to analyze our strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. There are three types of goals we can set for ourselves.

1.      Rational Goals: specific goals for the short-term.

2.       2. Directional goals (also known as domain planning) General direction for the long-term.

3.      Muddling through: if the environment is in flux this might be our best option.

 Rational goals are the most clear and definite from the three types of goal setting listed. The primary application of this kind of goal setting is for short range only. Each goal of this type should be formulated according to the SMART principles.

S- Simply stated and specific.

M- Measurable

A-Achievable

R-Reasonable and Realistic

T-Time bound.

The last one is very important which determines our destiny. Unless we alive a specific time to an assignment and stretches adhere to it, we cannot achieve it.

            Directional goals or domain planning is goal setting for the longer term. The outcome is not predicable. These goals should answer the question: What do I want to accomplish?

            The third kind of goal setting is muddling through. The kind of goal setting is applicable when the environment is in flux and the goals are uncertain.

It answers the question:

 What should we do?

            Writing down our goals creates the road map to our success. It is also important to review our goals frequently. The more focused we are on our goals; the more likely we are to accomplish them.

While setting our goals we should keep the mind:

1.      We should set a specific goal that we really wish, not just something that sounds good.

2.      A goal can not contradict any of our other goals.

3.      We should develop goals these are very important in our life.

4.      We should write only positive goals these are achievable.

5.       We should set small goals when we can achieve bigger goals.

6.      Once we achieve the goal we shouldn’t stop. We shall keep extending.

LEADERSHIP SKILLS

            Mahatma Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, Churchill, Nelson Mandela were not “Born Leaders” nor their parents were leaders. Leadership is a trait they acquired unknowingly due to the circumstances that forced them. Every young person deserves the opportunity to lead and become a leader which is very necessary in the present job scenario.

            “You don’t have to be born with leadership qualities, but you were born with a brain that can make use of mental strength to the best of your knowledge you can learn leadership skills”. The present day multi-national companies are not in search of top class student or gold medalists during their campus selections, they are selecting the youth who have leadership qualities became they know that the most important way to develop an organization is to focus on leadership development. There is almost no limit to the potential of an organization that recruits good people, raises them up as leaders and continually develops them.

            Great leaders are defined by having a small number of real strengths. They develop the ability of converting their weaknesses.

             Into Strengths.  There are two important points. We should learn to become a leader. Firstly learn to understand your attitude. Secondly learn to understand others and try to step into their shoes so that you can help them.

To become a leader follow these:

1.      Develop positive mental attitude to lead the term.

2.      Convert your weaknesses into strengths.

3.      Develop self-confidence.

4.      Take initiative and tackle the issues.

5.      Develop good communication and relationships.

6.      Get ready to change according to the change.

7.      Be aware of how others think and feel about you.

8.      Help others perform to the best of their abilities.

9.      Get ready to accept responsibility.

10.  Willing to try new ideas and new ways of doing things.

11.  Accept and appreciate other perspectives and opinions.

12.  Be aware of current issues and concerns.

13.  Interact with group members as often as possible without any prejudice.

14.  Show more interest in group goals than your own personal gain.

15.  Delegate responsibilities and motivate the members from time to time.

The leader is not only a good communicator but also manages the relations and maintains the rapport with his group members and supports them. He will not be carried away with others allegations. A good leader’s task is to guide the persons who are on the wrong track.